Communication, communication, communication

effective communication - when sex hurts there is hopeThe three most important aspects of a healthy relationship are…communication, communication, and communication.*  Okay, so there is a lot more that goes into maintaining a healthy relationship, but I just want to emphasize how important effective communication really is (so important, in fact, that I expect I will be creating multiple posts on this topic in the future).

In order for communication to be effective it needs to be two-way, constant, and not hurtful.  You both need to communicate with each other—if you do all the talking, and he never responds, then you can only get halfway there.  Continue reading

The pain in painful sex

painful sex - when sex hurts there is hopeBefore I dive too deeply into the various lessons I have learned throughout this journey I want to take a moment to describe some of the pain I have experienced.  We all experience different types and different levels of pain throughout our life, and one individual’s level 10 may be different from another’s.* I can only describe what I have personally experienced and acknowledge that there are many others out there suffering from much worse.  It is very difficult to put into words and describe in a way that you as a reader can understand.  I believe it is not possible to truly understand unless you have experienced it first-hand. Continue reading

Don’t just suffer through it

For those of you who are dealing with painful sex, I beg you, please don’t just suffer through it!  As I retell my story and relive those earlier years of pain I am dumbfounded at how I just suffered through it for so long.  I know now that I actually made things worse by allowing the pain to continue unabated (with hypertonic pelvic floor muscle disorder, the more trauma there is to the muscles the tighter they become and the longer the healing process takes).  More than that, I think about how much time was wasted and the emotional damage of suffering for so long.

sex is not supposed to hurt - when sex hurts there is hope

At first I just dealt with it because I wasn’t really sure what was wrong, or if there really was something wrong at all.  If you are having any similar types of doubts, let me make it very clear—sex is not supposed to hurt!  Continue reading