Child’s pose and happy baby are for adults too

Posted on November 23, 2014 by Sarah

Don’t be fooled by the names of these yoga poses—child’s pose and happy baby are great for all ages. I previously shared how beneficial I believe yoga to be for those with pelvic pain (Go with the yoga flow). Now I want to share my two favorite poses for hypertonic pelvic floor dysfunction: child’s pose and a modified version of happy baby. Both of these poses were recommended by my physical therapist and incorporated into my home therapy long before I ever attended a yoga class. If you have not yet discovered these poses, I hope that you can incorporate them into your own healing practice as well.

Child’s pose and modified happy baby are my go-to poses for when I have flare ups of pelvic pain and muscle spasms, and I think you’ll see why. Continue reading →

God at the center

Posted on November 16, 2014 by Sarah

I truly believe that the number one factor in a successful marriage is keeping God at the center of it. I have met some amazing couples who have been through their share of life’s struggles and yet have the strongest connection to each other, a passionate love that you can see in every interaction. And they will tell you how it hasn’t always been easy, how they never could have done it on their own. They will tell you of times that they wanted to give up and times that it was just too difficult for them. Then they will tell you how God at the center is what made all the difference, giving them the courage and strength they needed to overcome. Continue reading →

Get a second opinion

Posted on November 9, 2014 by Sarah

Navigating the healing process of something as complex as sexual pain can be extremely difficult and often overwhelming. One of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to painful sex is how the number one word of advice you will find online is simply to talk to your doctor. On the surface that seems like perfectly good advice, but what happens when your doctor doesn’t know what to do? Or worse, what happens when your doctor tells you there isn’t anything wrong, implying that it is all in your head? My response, get a second opinion—or third or fourth or fifth, as the case may be. Continue reading →

Share your struggles (part 2)

Posted on November 2, 2014 by Sarah

I described in an earlier post about how important it is to share your struggles. I made the mistake of not sharing my struggles at the beginning of my pain journey and instead kept the physical and emotional brokenness inside. This resulted in me carrying a weight that was too much to bear, and left me disconnected from those around me. Fortunately, I learned from this mistake by the time I was faced with something even bigger than painful sex. I was able to share my struggles with friends and family who supported me through the most difficult time in my life.

When my marriage started crumbling around me I made a decision to reach out in honesty and authenticity to those closest to me. I didn’t hold anything back—I didn’t try to hide the full extent of the pain or downplay the effects it was having on me. I was blessed to have people who cared enough about me to listen and share in my suffering. Continue reading →

Go with the yoga flow

Posted on October 26, 2014 by Sarah

I believe that yoga is good for everyone but great for those with hypertonic pelvic floor muscle dysfunction, a common cause of pelvic pain.

My physical therapist recommended yoga to me many years ago, but it took me a while to finally try it out. Eventually I found a cute little yoga studio near my house and went to their level zero class (yes, I said level zero and I’m not ashamed). I have been practicing at least once a week for over three years and have seen great results. I was never a very flexible person and when I first started I couldn’t even touch my toes. My balance was so bad that I had to lean on a wall to steady myself just to put a sock on, and we won’t even go into how weak my muscles were. Today I can reach beyond my toes to plant my palms firmly on the floor, I can hold tree pose with the best of them, and my friends like to joke about being jealous of my ‘yoga arms’.* Even more amazing, my sciatica pain that used to flare often is now nonexistent. Continue reading →

It’s not your fault

Posted on October 19, 2014 by Sarah

Living with a disorder that causes painful sex can wreak havoc on your marriage and, as an extension, your life. It is easy to fall into negative thinking and to feel like it is your fault, at least it was for me.

Sex was always an issue in our marriage, and it seemed like it was the cause of all our problems. The sex issue caused arguments and created feelings of loneliness, dissatisfaction and alienation from each other. Even on the days when we were seemingly fighting about a completely unrelated issue, it always had a tendency to go back to the problem of sex (or at least it always did in my mind). Continue reading →

Not just your problem

Posted on October 12, 2014 by Sarah

Painful sex is not just your problem individually. If you are in a relationship and dealing with pelvic pain, don’t make the mistake of thinking that it is just your problem to deal with. You may think that if it is your body then it must be your issue alone, but that is not true. If you are in a committed relationship nothing is ever just your problem or just his problem—whether it be painful sex or credit card debt—it affects you both. not just your problem - when sex hurts there is hope

I faced my pelvic pain as if it were my problem alone. I searched for a diagnosis, I tried different tests and treatments, I saw a sex therapist, I went to weekly physical therapy sessions, I did self-treatment at home, and I dealt alone with the emotional and psychological distress that accompany a pelvic pain disorder. Yes, I asked my husband to support me and he did in some ways, but neither of us ever faced the issue as if it were our problem. Continue reading →

When Sex Hurts There Is Hope

Sharing my journey to provide hope for others

Category Archives: Lessons Learned